Today is the first day I try not to tink of her. But it was really hard and seems impossible. Every now and then will sure have her image in my brain. Yesterday nite when I tried my very best nt to tink n forget her, I felt empty. I was hollow wit unable to tink can concentrate on any thing. I felt down n was feeling hopeless wit a very very bad mood. Then aft tinking of her it change, I was happy again n finish new moon. This just shows how much she has become part of my life.

However, I so don’t want to give in to this feeling. I am so going to give hard n I noe it is dann hard, but I will. I have lots of time n time heals. I have to grow up, I am so not going to be weak, I nd to become strong and take charge of my life. My life is mine n not decided by her. I cant always live by her rules. I really like her but I will like her n live my own god dam life

I am ready to embrace all the pain, emptiness and unwillingness to let go.